The clock always feels like its tick-tocking on by, especially for mamas! Let’s get real, ladies – being a mom is HARD sometimes. It can be challenging to find balance in mom life and work life. And it can be even harder to juggle everything and still feel like you’re missing out on things.
As a working mom, I often feel guilty for not being entirely there for every little thing in my kids’ lives, and I get stressed about not giving enough time to my career. This is the age-old problem of balance that plagues all of us working mamas, but the thing is it really shouldn’t!
Here’s the thing—no one is perfect, and you need to give yourself grace and be thankful for each moment rather than dwelling on what’s lacking.
In this episode, I get really honest. I want you mamas listening to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that it’s okay to struggle to find a balance in time, and it’s okay if that balance means you aren’t with your kids 24/7. Know that having this balance is a good thing for you and for your children. Through this balance, you can find fulfill your needs and offer your best self to your children.
Happy Monday, happy June 1st. It’s a new month. It’s not officially summer, but kind of in my mind. I actually am struggling with this episode today. So far in my short time, as a podcast here, things have come pretty easily, but for some reason, this one has been harder for me. And it’s, it’s one that again, it’s on my heart. It really been funny.I haven’t planned anything out yet, really. I have a whole slew of ideas written down, but so far everything that I’ve published and put out to the world has come to me, has been on my heart and on my mind, the last couple of days and today, especially mom guilt was on my mind. But as I started to actually talk about that, it just didn’t, it still didn’t feel right. So I don’t think mom guilt is quite the route.
I need to go with this and I’ll just start off with telling you why today. These thoughts are even on my mind. And today, while I sit, like I said, it’s not officially summer per the calendar, but our kids are gone. We have a quiet house, we have resumed some activities and while they are not completely normal, they are gone. The older two are with a nanny. We are sharing a nanny. She’s actually a teacher at our school. Who’s helping us out, but we’re sharing that nanny slash teacher with some older kids or our neighbors. So they are enjoying some adventures out of the house and then my youngest, who is two, I enrolled him in a summer program at a preschool here. So he is off doing that. And ironically, we went to drop him off. We all went as a family and we could only go as far as the front door and he did not skip a beat.
He did not need a goodbye. He did not need a kiss from me, which maybe I am internally struggling with. He didn’t blink. He waived, gave us a big smile and off he went to his new school and new adventure for the summer. I thought that the topic of mom guilt was what was being put on my heart but I think as I’ve struggled today and as I’ve reflected a little more, it’s really this internal fear of missing out that I’ve, that I am struggling with, that I’ve always struggled with. I’ve been doing this solopreneur journey for many years now and I’ve always wanted to be able to do both stay at home mom and work at home mom at the same time. It’s always been a big struggle for me because I don’t want to give up either one of them. And I think I’ve always thought it was, it was me feeling bad for not, you know, for not for wanting to send the kids to school or a daycare.
But I think really, it’s I’m afraid to give up my time and to let someone else have that scary thing as a mom, for sure. What I do know is it’s good for them and it’s good for us to allow ourselves that time to really do what we love. For some of us, maybe just being a stay at home, mom is what you love and that is okay. I do think there’s a small part of me that likes that, but I know personally myself that I have to have something else I’ve I have realized that, but I still struggle with letting go of my time with them. And I find, I guess I find it kind of funny because when I do try to do both at the same time, it’s absolutely miserable. I know my kids don’t enjoy it because I’m quick to my temper.
I am quick to getting frustrated. I’m not patient, it’s not a pleasant experience for either of us or why I continue to allow myself to struggle with that. I’m not sure, but I think this morning was a great reminder. All three of my kids gave me a big smile and waved and they were on their way. They’re all in their happy place. So why do I not allow myself to be in my happy place or to let them experience that without feeling this way? I think it’s interesting. I think it’s something to ponder on. I don’t have the answers for you, but I did think it was important to come here and to let you know that I too am dealing with this. And I think that we really just have to be mindful of that and keep working towards letting that go it’s so it’s okay to feel this way, but you’re not really losing time.
Right? You’re giving them experiences. You’re giving them moments, things that you can’t give them. Right. We can’t give them everything. And like I said before, we have to give ourselves something too. So I just think it’s important to allow yourself that feeling, but know that it’s going to be okay. And that you’re not really losing that time. Now, the other thing, as I was pondering on my, what I thought would be my mom guilt episode is reminding myself of some things that I can do so that when I’m actually with my kids, that I am really taking advantage of that time and something that I’ve actually been doing lately that I wanted to share with you all, because I think it’s been life changing, um, is deleting my social media apps on the weekends. And, um, I actually got this idea from someone I look up to and she’s a podcaster as well.
Her name is Stephanie Gass and allowing myself to actually delete the apps and not just, not just trying to not look at them, I’ve tried that before and I’ve failed miserably, but actually deleting them. I’ve been pleasantly surprised that I don’t even like carry my phone with me half the time. I don’t know where it’s at. I miss calls from family and friends who I’m sure are frustrated with my slow response, but how freeing has it been to delete those apps that I mindlessly scroll, um, throughout the day and just allowing myself to be fully present. Um, it’s been, it’s been wonderful and I don’t know that my kids have noticed, but I’ve noticed, um, I’ve I can, I can see the change in me. I can see the behavior change in me during the weekend. And I, I just think it’s been so freeing.
And so I just wanted to pass this idea along to you guys as well, because I think it’s important. I think circling back to these feelings, it’s okay to feel them. It’s okay to have them, but it’s okay to let your kids go and have their time away from you. As long as your giving yourself 110% of yourself to them when they are home, those moments are going to be so much more meaningful and memorable. If you are fully there, when you can be. So have your time as a business owner have your time to yourself, but when it’s time to be with your kids, make sure you are fully present. And I think the feelings that you may have will slowly go away. I know they’ve started to go away. They’re not gone, obviously I’m, I’m still feeling that and that’s okay, but making sure you are, are there in the moments that you can be, is going to make the biggest difference. So thank you all for listening. And I will be back later this week with some business tips for you.